Change!

Change. Is Change good? Is change bad? Can you completely avoid change? Why is it that some people like change while other individuals despise it? Can we use change for our good? How does one cope with change? Are there a lot of changes within a family? Are these changes always needed?

          As you can see there are a lot of ways to look at change and a lot of questions connected with change. Let us first start by defining what change is. According to the dictionary, there are two definitions of change. The first one is, “make (someone or something) different; alter or modify.” The second one is, “replace (something) with something else, especially something of the same kind that is newer or better; substitute one thing for (another).” These definitions are important to keep in mind as we are talking about change. I recognize that there are differing opinions about whether change is a positive or a negative thing. However, my personal belief is that change, in many instances, is a good thing.

          I recently read a portion from the book, Family System Theory, Chapter 4 of Exploring Family Theories by Suzanne R. Smith, Raeann R. Hamon, Bron B. Ingoldsby & J. Elizabeth Miller, and it really stuck out to me and I would love to share it with you.

          “Family stability is actually rooted in change. That is, to the degree that a family is functional, it is able to retain sufficient regularity and balance to maintain a sense of adaptability and preserve a sense of order and sameness. At the same time, it must subtly promote change and growth within its members and the family as a whole. Well-functioning families are resilient and able to achieve change without forfeiting stability…a tightrope walker must continually sway in order to remain balanced. On the other hand, remaining balance while standing in a canoe calls for making the canoe rock.”

          Isn’t that so good? “Family stability is actually rooted in change.” I just think that is profound! Change is a natural thing within a family. In fact, it is needed. Obviously, there is a balance, and you need a healthy amount of consistency within the family. However, change helps your family and your family members grow, learn, and develop. Often as a parent you might try a parenting tip only to find out that it doesn’t work for you so then you have to change your approach. Not all of your kids will act the same or will need the same parenting techniques. You have to change and individualize things for each family member.

          I am a strong believer that we were sent to this earth into family units, so that we could change, grow, learn, and develop into who our Heavenly Father wants us to become. In the family we are put in so many situations where we can change and then use that process of changing for our benefit and the benefit of others. One of the greatest parts about Jesus Christ Atoning for us is that, we have the chance to change and improve. Jesus Christ will help us change. He will help our families change. He will help us stay balanced on that swaying tightrope.

It’s less about avoiding change and more about learning how to use change to become better and helping your family be better. This is definitely easier said than done and it is something that I personally want to try to do better at, so we are in this ride together. But next time we are tempted to freak out when we realize that we have to change things within our family, let’s all try taking a step back and recognizing the benefits of change.