People talk a lot about
countries and groups of people and how they have different cultures. Quite a few
of these cultures are apparent and are seen easily from outsiders. However,
there are some cultures that aren't as apparent. These are family cultures.
Each family has their own culture. They have different views, rules,
expectations, ways of living, etc. I find these different family cultures super
fascinating. I hope as I talk about family cultures today that it will get you
thinking about what your personal family cultures are or things you want to incorporate
within your family culture. If nothing else, recognizing that family cultures exist
will maybe help you better understand people and why everyone is so different. A
lot of these differences between each other are because of family culture. What
is normal for you and your family might be super strange to another individual
and family. Being informed about family cultures will help us have more love,
understanding, compassion, and patience for others.
Where do these family
cultures come from? I believe that there are many ways that these family
cultures come to be.
Some family cultures
might be influenced by other outside cultures. A personal example of this for
me is: In our family we would read from scriptures every day together as a
family. We would discuss how we can come closer to God and then we would pray
together. I would consider this as part of my family’s culture. My family and I
are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and this
practice of reading scriptures and praying as a family is encouraged with in
our faith. We have adopted this encouragement into our family and have made it
our own. This is an example of how my family culture has been influenced by an
outside culture.
I also think parts of a
family culture are shaped by the interests and passions of each family member.
For example, in my family we love playing sports! We participate in school
sports as well as playing sports together. When we get together with our extended
family, we set up a volleyball net on the grass and play some fun and competitive
games of volleyball. This is just a part of our family culture and it has
become such because we enjoy it and it creates fun bonding experiences.
I believe that many family
cultures exist or are created without us even realizing it. Sometimes family
cultures simply come about because they make things run smoother within the
family. Another personal example of this in my family is what we call the buddy
system. As I may have mentioned before, I am the second oldest of nine kids. Believe
it or not, nine kids are really hard for my mom and my dad to watch over and
help. To ease the load on my mom and my dad, my parents decided to do a buddy
system. In my family this meant that one of the older kids was paired up with
one of the younger kids and they would help them. This was used a lot, especially
on family trips and during mealtimes. I can’t count the number of times that I
heard my parents say, “make sure you help your buddy.”
Not all family cultures
are helpful or healthy. Some family cultures might be helpful to one child but
on the other hand be emotionally damaging for another child. This is one of the
reasons why it is important to think about your own family culture. Ask
yourself if you think they are helpful and if they are creating a loving atmosphere
for all your children. If not then don’t worry, family culture can change. It’s
a lot of hard work but it is possible.
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