Coping

  Coping. What is it? What does coping mean? According to the dictionary to cope means to “deal effectively with something difficult.” Everyone goes through hard things in life and so coping is a normal part of this world. There are many factors that go into coping. Sometimes there are more difficult things that happen in life, so it is harder to cope. Some people are better at coping than others. Some lack the desire or motivation to cope. Some people do not know how to cope. Coping looks different for each person.

         Something that I find interesting, that we talked about in one of my classes was that, events in life do not lead us to feeling emotions. But rather our thoughts or perception of those events is what creates the emotions that we feel. And then we act on those emotions and that is where our behavior comes from. So it is kind of a chain reaction. An event happens, thoughts/perceptions come, we feel the emotions, and then we act. When we think about it this way, this chain of events is quite empowering and fascinating. Because while we often can not change the events that happen in our life, we can control our thoughts and how we perceive things. This then helps us control our emotions/feelings and therefore our behaviors as well. This can be a way of coping or learning how to cope. As we try to control our thoughts or change our perception on events then our emotions change and so does our behaviors.

         The perception of danger creates anxiety, not reality. Isn’t that interesting? Here is an example to show what that statement means. Imagine you are walking through the forest. It is a beautiful sunny day and there are so many pretty wildflowers that you love. You are enjoying every second of this little adventure through the forest. However, you are completely unaware that a hungry mountain lion is following you, waiting for an opportunity to pounce and satisfy his empty stomach. This is a dangerous, life-threatening situation. However, you are not scared at all because you have no perception of the danger you are in. This is an extreme example, but it points out that your perception has everything to do with your emotions.

         Part of coping is learning to think intentionally. It is important to train your mind to think in good healthy ways. While this is really difficult it is so beneficial. Luckly there are resources out there to help people train their brain to think in healthy ways. There are also things that you can do to become better at coping. All these things take a lot of work and determination. Thank goodness we have a loving Savior to help us along our journey of becoming better copers.

         A scripture that helps me cope is Mosiah 24:14-15.

“And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.”

 I love how it says, “the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light”. This is so powerful. In this phrase the word “light” could mean physically light. However, I also think it could mean enlightenment or knowledge. So, as we go through hard things we gain greater knowledge, enlightenment, and light in our life. This helps us see that our trials and hard times can be good. Wrestling and working at things is a good thing, especially when we do it with Christ.