Family As a Support

President Ezra Taft Benson said, "[Y]our most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load”.

            I love this! Parents and siblings can be such a strong support in your life. One of the things that makes me so sad is knowing that not everyone has a good supportive family that they can lean on. So if that is you then I am truly sorry. My hope is that you will be able to start your own family and establish a good support system with in it. This takes a lot of work. If it did not take a lot of effort, then everyone would do it. The fact that it is hard and takes a lot of effort, patience, love, kindness, selflessness, etc., is what makes it so rare. However, when you achieve it all that hard work is also what makes it so sweet and wonderful. And maybe I should not say achieve because something like this is a constant journey. There is lots of ups and downs and that is ok. We can find joy in the process and in this journey.

            I think a huge part of finding joy in this journey/process is realizing that things are not going to be 100% all the time. Life can be 50/50. Some good and some bad. Recognizing that when it is bad, it is not going to always stay that way. There are good things ahead. Relying on Jesus Christ and trusting that He can help us find strength and joy in this journey/process is key. “Christ being come an high priest of good things to come”. (Hebrews 9:11)

            Something that my dad taught me that has helped me realize this concept was through looking at Lehi’s family and their journey in the wilderness. There were times in the wilderness where they were starving and not in good conditions. These were hard, trying times. However, there were other times when they were doing good. They were still journeying but they were in fertile parts of the wilderness or in the land of bountiful. These good times were times where they could recharge and be ready for the hard times to come. Their journey can be symbolic of our life. We go through hard times when it seems awful and that it will never be good again. But they do end, and we have times where we are in a good spot, and we are recharging. And the beauty of putting effort into our family relationships is that they can help us during those hard times, as well as celebrate with you during the good times.

            I have been blessed with a supportive family and they are some of my best friends. A huge thing that has played into creating these good relationships with my family is through good communication. Good communication is key to strong relationships. For the most part it is fairly easy to have good communication with your family when things are going good. However, when there is conflict or differing opinions, that is when it is hard to have good communication. Here are a few important things to keep in mind when trying to deal with conflict in healthy ways.

            Try not to get defensive as well as getting offended. Have the mindset that if one loses then both/all loses. Avoid letting anger motivate your words. Try to incorporate kind humor, not belittling humor. These are just a few ideas for good communication, there are tons more. While good communication is a lot of work, it is so worth it! As you practice and get better at communicating, you will notice that your relationships with your family has deepen and are more joyful.